One of the things I was trying to get across was the difference between feminism addressing issues really poorly (i.e. just paying lip service) and feminism not addressing them at all. I sometimes wish that feminism would address disability really poorly, because it would at least mean that feminism sees us as an identity group with its own civil rights movement. Instead, feminism sees us the way that society in general sees us — as just a bunch of individuals with icky bodies whom no one wants to look at or deal with. Personally, I find it easier to talk to someone who addresses me by my name (even if everything that comes after the mention of my name is unbelievably ignorant) than it is to talk to someone who ignores me as though I don’t exist. But I think I will need to do some work on making it much clearer that a) paying lip service and ignoring people altogether both cause substantial suffering, and b) saying that one is better or worse than the other is extremely problematic. In general, I try to stay away from binaries and hierarchies, but they creep in and it’s something for me to reflect on.

In all honestly, I feel sick of the tunnel vision I see. Maybe someday we can move past that, but for the time being I really don’t care if someone describes their day as crazy (describing someone else as crazy, less so) or if someone says the traffic was insane. What I want is for people to actually give a shit about the conditions of our lives in a way that would make an appreciable difference to me and other disabled people, right here, right now. I’m so sick of feminists who think that yelling at other people over minute language issues is the peak of their anti-ableism activism. It means shit to me if me & other disabled people are still facing the most basic access of care issues. It means shit to me if those same feminists stay dead silent about politics of medication and treatment, accessibility, and quality of life for us. It means shit to me if those same women would look at me in shock or disdain if I was symptomatic in front of them. It means shit to me if those same feminists hold discussions where they call people like me monsters, while simultaneously telling off others for i had a crazy day!

Especially if these same feminists are outright hostile to people who may use these words unknowingly, some of whom may be disabled (and may find hostility and lack of explanation even more draining or confusing because of that). I understand hostility in situations born of frustration and oppression, but I don’t think I’m alone in saying it’s a shallow ally at best who shouts on your behalf and appropriates your anger without any deep understanding of the issues. Of course, this gets even more complicated when you come to the issues of intercommunity disabilities and the fact that even other disabled people can speak over and have a shallow understanding of disabilities they don’t experience.
You do mention other things, and honestly, again, this isn’t a reproach as much as a response in general to my experience and frustration talking about disability in feminist spaces online. I’ve had less problems offline, probably because my activism and support circles have been filled primarily by people who are disabled themselves. I feel your frustration, but I want to stress the importance of teaching allies to listen louder than they speak.

Also, as a disabled lesbian women, I get the point you’re trying to make about the level of activism against other oppressions, but all the same I find it someone frustrating when other disabled women seem to use lgbtq oppression as a token example of how badly off disabled people are. I know. I am one. But lgbtq acceptance is much more superficial than it may appear and it can get frustrating to be an Example. This isn’t a reproof, just food for thought.

Thank you for the article.

“…Schnarch recalls a man who phoned him the day before a scheduled initial couples session and announced that he’d just been diagnosed with Asperger’s. “As soon as this happened,” Schnarch says, “I knew I had difficulty.” He contacted the referring therapist, who said he’d suspected the man had Asperger’s because he said things to his girlfriend that were so cruel he couldn’t possibly understand their impact. As far as Schnarch was concerned, it was an all-too-familiar instance of sadism masquerading as disability. “If you’re going to perp, the best place to perp from is the victim position.”…”

Some mighty big presumptions in this accusation.

I appreciated so much about your essay. It’s true that feminists and progressives/lefties generally have little or no interest or understanding of disability issues.

You framed this essay: Why I no longer identify as a feminist. Yet, in talking to Barbara Ruth you use the pronoun “our” to describe the disabled feminist perspective.

I hope this is a clue that you/we can be angry as hell over the invisibility of disability within the feminist movement and still hold commitment to women and women’s issues. It seems like a useful paradox.

With Respect,
Adrienne Lauby