I think you highlight the only positive from this realization in your final paragraphs. It is possible for someone to understand, and change their perspective. It may be due to a transformative experience or perhaps through reading, conversation, or working with people who have been forced to learn the absence of justice.

I’m trying to think of something else to say, but just THIS to people who say that just because they experience one (or more) oppression, that they can’t possible hold -ist attitudes towards other groups.

That’s one thing that greatly bothers me about some so-called “radical feminists” as an example-some of whose writings/viewpoints/etc are the most virulently transphobic/classict/racist crap ever.

And the only answer I’ve got is that women’s bodies have been so sexualised, so objectified, that to dress in exactly the same clothing for the same situation as a man would is provoking. That we even need laws protecting a woman’s right to use her breasts for their intended purpose says something deeply unsettling about our society.